i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
