You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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