Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
