Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You made out with two different species that night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
