Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
