i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
