I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Randomize
