Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
