Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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