All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
