M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
