oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Help. Why am I so naked?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
