I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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