Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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