Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
