i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
