My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
