she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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