Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
