Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
