And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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