Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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