i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
