my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
