He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this boner is exhausting
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
