I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
