Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
