I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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