What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
