she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
