so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have post one night stand depression
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