glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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