I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize