When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
