I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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