Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
