i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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