remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
