we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
