It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize