Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
