yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
