so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
