I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
