He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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