you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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