you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
