Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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