why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
