beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
