I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
