i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
