i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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