She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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