Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
