i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
