tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
