one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize