You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
