We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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