i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
