i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
