my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
