she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
