I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it glows. i had to have it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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