brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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