she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
