there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize