wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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