Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
