To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
