She is in my trunk
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
